अनकहा प्यार
jab main arab saagar ke jal mein dhalate sooraj ka pratibimb dekhata hoon,
mainne tumhen dekha hai;
jab mujhe apane baalon se hava bahatee huee mahasoos hotee hai,
main tumhen jaanata hoon;
jab main andhere aakaash mein taare ginata hoon,
mainne tumhen padha hai;
jab main jeevan se uttar maangata hoon,
mainne aapako dhoondh liya hai;
aap ek uttar ko ujaagar karane vaale sitaaron par hava ka pratibimb hain.
tum sachche pyaar ho.
us shanivaar subah chhah baje tej baarish ho rahee thee. main apanee vheelacheyar par phrench khidakee ke saamane baitha tha jisase mere bageeche ka nazaara dikhaee de raha tha. dhundh ka ek apaaradarshee parda us khidakee kee bheetaree satah par chupachaap baitha raha. isane mujhe un sardiyon kee shaamon kee yaad dila dee jo aapako us duniya se door kar sakatee hain jisamen aap apanee duniya mein hain. lekin vaastav mein, yah prakrti kee gupt sevaon ke ejenton mein se ek hai. ye ejent ek drshy ko aspasht karate hain jab prakrti nahin chaahatee ki aap kuchh vishisht dekhen. ye gupt sevaen pooree duniya mein phailee huee hain. baarish bhee unheen mein se ek hai. baadal paanee se lathapath, andhere aur udaas, uchch aakaash mein jo kuchh bhee chal raha hai use chhalaavaran karate hain. unake neeche kee duniya ya to bheegane ka jashn manaane mein vyast hai ya usase darane mein, ek baar ke lie bhee unaka dhyaan oopar kee duniya kee or nahin jaata hai.
mainne apanee kursee ko khidakee ke paas kheenchakar apanee hathelee se dhundh ko mita diya. us khidakee kee baaharee satah par baras rahee saikadon varsha kee boondon ke beech kuchh nadiyaan theen, jo un boondon se hee banatee theen. mujhe nahin pata ki jal ke us pravaah ka varnan karane ke lie dhaara sahee shabd hai, jo apane raaste mein tedhee aur tootee huee hai. sabhee boonden, jo un dhaaraon ka hissa nahin theen, josh kee chamak se chamak utheen. yah junoon koee saadhaaran nahin tha balki apanee pahachaan ka tyaag kar ek dhaara mein vileen ho jaane ka junoon tha. ek baar dhaara ban jaane ke baad boond phir kabhee vaisee nahin rahegee, bhale hee vah alag ho jae. yah josheela josh unamen tha kyonki pratyek boond jaanata tha ki akele girana gir raha hoga lekin ek dhaara mein, yah ek yaatra, ek saahasik, ek yaatra hogee. yah prakrti dvaara dee jaane vaalee sevaon ka ek aur set hai; ise gyaan seva kaha jaata hai. yah aapako bataata hai ki kaise saathee ke saath aap apane tahalane ko sair mein badal sakate hain aur ek yaatra mein chal sakate hain.
main is sachchaee ko tab se jaanata hoon jab se mainne use jaana hai. yah aisa hai jaise main kal usase mila tha, lekin jab se is dharatee par baadalon kee baarish huee hai, jab se prthvee brahmaand mein aaee hai, jab se usane brahmaand kee rachana kee hai, tab se main use jaanata hoon.
"oh! mistar suparastaar, aap jaag rahe hain! kya aisa kuchh hai jo aapako chaahie? tumhen pata hai, tum mujhe abhee phon kar sakate the. mainne mobail aapake takie ke paas rakh diya. yahaan aap koee philm naayak nahin hain jo pattiyon mein uthakar ladaee kar sakate hain. aapane uthane ka prabandhan kaise kiya? vaastav mein tum abhee kyon uthe?" vahaan vah mere saamane jhukee huee thee aur baahar baarish kee tarah lagaataar bol rahee thee. vah naaraaj hone ka naatak kar rahee thee, lekin vah ise nakalee nahin bana sakatee thee, jis dekhabhaal ke saath usane mujhe sambodhit kiya vah usakee aankhon mein itana pathaneey tha ki main us moorkhataapoorn muskaan ko banaana band nahin kar saka, jaise ki ek chhota ladaka usake dvaara pakade jaane par banaata hai pita use akele mein abhinay karate samay. "yah ek hee baar mein bahut saare prashn hain, mujhe lagata hai," usane apanee bhaunhon ko sikodate hue aur apane hothon ko ek saath aaee em soree jaise arth mein dabaate hue kaha. aage jhukate hue usane kaha, "mera matalab tha ki agar aapako kisee cheej kee jaroorat hai to aapako mujhe phon karana chaahie. do haphte pahale aapakee peeth kee sarjaree huee thee aur aap abhee aspataal se vaapas aae hain; aapako thoda saavadhaan rahane kee jaroorat hai, bas. to ab batao tum kya chaahate ho?"
"kuchh bhee to nahin. mujhe kuchh nahin chaahie ya nahin chaahie. baat bas itanee see hai ki main so nahin paata. mera matalab hai ki mujhe ab sone ka man nahin kar raha hai." mainne uttar diya.
"kya aapako kuchh pareshaan kar raha hain? kya yah kisee prakaar ka dard hai..."
"nahin, nahin, bilkul nahin. meree sarjaree bilkul theek hai, vaastav mein yah theek ho rahee hai."
"main shaareerik dard ka jikr nahin kar raha tha. mera matalab tha ki agar kuchh aapako pareshaan kar raha hai jaise ki aap ....," usane apanee palaken saamaany se adhik timatimaate hue kaha.
"kophee, main ek kap kophee pasand karoonga agar yah is samay bahut jyaada nahin hai," mainne usake savaalon se bachane ke lie kaha.
yah ajeeb hai ki kaise ham apane poore jeevan mein kisee aise vyakti kee talaash karate hain jo na keval hamen samajh sake balki sahee samay par hamen samajh sake. lekin sabase ajeeb baat yah hai ki jab aapake paas aisa koee ho aur aap yah bhee jaanate hon ki ve aapako samajhate hain aur phir bhee aap yah nahin jaanana chaahate ki ve aapako samajhate hain. yah aisa hai jaise kuchh hai, kuchh bahut keematee hai, jo aapake paas hai aur aap isaka naam nahin lena chaahate hain, kyonki yadi naam diya gaya hai, to yah aapake hothon par aa sakata hai aur antatah sabhee ko isake baare mein pata chal jaega aur ise shaap dene ya choree karane ka prayaas kar sakate hain . mujhe hamesha se pata hai ki vah koee hai aur jab bhee vah mujhe pareshaan karane vaalee kisee bhee cheez ke baare mein baat karane kee koshish karatee hai, to main isase bachata hoon kyonki main nahin chaahata ki yah shaapit ho ya chhua bhee kyonki main is gyaan ke saath rahana chaahata hoon ki kam se kam vahaan hai koee hai jo samajhata hai ki main main kyon hoon.
usane muskuraane ke lie apane hothon ko saamaany ke beech thoda phailaaya aur apanee palaken oopar uthaeen, unhen is tarah oopar kee or ghumaaya jaise ki pahalee baar mujhe dekhane ka mauka mila ho. aur phir mujhe pata tha ki aap bhee aisa hee karenge ek tarah ka lukeval main jaanata tha nahin aap hamesha aisa kyon karate hain?
"haan, zaroor, kyon nahin?"
vah uth khadee huee aur daravaaje kee disha kee or mudee.
"piya," mainne bina peechhe mude kaha, "kya aap krpaya khidakiyon mein se ek khol sakate hain?"
vah vaapas mere saamane vaalee khidakee par chalee gaee aur unamen se ek ko khol diya. baarish kee kuchh boondon ke saath hava ka ek tej jhonka usake chehare par aa gaya. havaon kee gati ke saath baalon kee kuchh jhilamilaahat laharaane lagee. phir yah mere dhyaan mein aaya ki kuchh jhatakon ke alaava usake baakee baalon ko kasakar baandh diya gaya tha, usake honthon par abhee bhee lipastik kee halkee bhooree parat thee aur vah usee salavaar-kurta mein thee jise usane kal pahana tha jab vah mujhe ghar le aaee thee. aspataal; isaka matalab tha ki vah bhee soee nahin thee.
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main un dinon ek teleevijan abhineta hua karata tha. main tab tak teen rishton mein raha tha aur sabhee upadrav the. mera teesara aur aakhiree rishta abhee toota tha. shilpa us sitakom mein meree leeding ledee theen, jo main un dinon kar rahee thee. ham teen saal se saath the. is brek ap ke baad mujhe mistar ke roop mein pahachaana jaane laga. rileshanaship phelyor sabhee akhabaaron aur patrikaon dvaara. yah sab charitr hanan nahin tha jo mujhe pareshaan kar raha tha, lekin usake antim shabd - tum mahilaon se pyaar karane ke lie nahin bane ho aur main shart lagaata hoon ki agar tum apane lie ek dhoondhate ho. mainne vichaar karana shuroo kar diya tha ki kya ve vaastav mein sach hain. mujhe kaam karate hue chaar din ho chuke the. marane ke baad jyaadaatar purush akelepan se darate hain, lekin mere lie yah maut se kaheen jyaada bhayaavah hai kyonki ek baar jab aap mar jaate hain, to log aapas mein aapake baare mein baat karate hain lekin meree sthiti mein unhonne mujhase baat kee. isake baare mein socha bhee durbal tha. mujhe bas meree baat sunane ke lie kisee kee jaroorat thee. main kisee dost ko phon kar sakata tha lekin mujhe koee aisa chaahie tha jo mere baare mein kuchh nahin jaanata tha, koee bilkul naya tha, jise main bhee nahin jaanata tha.
mumbee kee sabase achchhee baat yah hai ki yah shahar kabhee nahin sota; jab isake sabhee nivaasee apane sapanon mein kaheen kho jaate hain, to samudr aur aakaash ek saath baithakar pyaar kee baaten karate hain. main jaanana chaahata tha ki unhonne yah kaise kiya. ve ek-doosare se bahut door the lekin phir bhee jab bhee ve seedhe dekhate to ek-doosare ko hee dekhate the. un donon mein aise rahasy the jo doosare ko nahin pata the aur phir bhee ek mein doosare ko talaashane kee laalasa nahin thee. unake beech kabhee sampark nahin tha keval ek maadhyam: vaashp, baarish aur hava. yah tha pyaar, sachcha pyaar - koee aadhipaty nahin lekin phir bhee ek-doosare ka. vahaan kuchh chhipa tha jisase unaka pyaar, sachcha pyaar bana aur jo mujhe nahin pata tha. isalie main isakee talaash mein nikala. aur vahaan main akele mareen draiv par samudr aur aakaash ko dekh raha tha.
"baaboojee, kya aap chaahate hain ki main gaoon? jaahir hai aap chaahate hain ki main gaoon. tera mera pyaar amar...." latta pahane ek ladakee ne kaha, haathon mein ikataara kee tarah, usake baal laal riban ke saath do pleton mein latake hue hain aur usakee naak mein ek nakalee sunahara naak kee angoothee hai.
"main koee gaana nahin sunana chaahata. yahaan, yah paisa lo aur jao. mujhe akela chhod do." mainne kaha tha.
"prem kahaaniyaan geeton ke bina adhooree hain. haalaanki havaen ga rahee hain lekin samudr aur aakaash kee prem kahaanee divy hai, yah utsav ke yogy hai. ” usane mujhase paise lete hue kaha.
use isake baare mein kaise pata chala? use kaise pata chala ki main bhee aisa hee soch rahee hoon? mainne man hee man socha. lekin yah kahakar ki main bhee aisa hee soch rahee hoon, moorkh na dikhane ke lie mainne pahala savaal hee poochhana behatar samajha.
"aapako unakee prem kahaanee ke baare mein kisane bataaya?"
"koee nahin, kuchh baaten hain......, aap bas jaanate hain," usane vaapas jaane ke lie mudate hue kaha.
"are, suno," mainne oonchee pich mein kaha.
"hamm... kya?"
"aap unakee prem kahaanee ke baare mein aur kya jaanate hain?" mainne poochh liya.
"aap kapil hain, seeriyal musaaphir ke kapil, hai na?" usane kaha.
"haan."
"aur aap kar rahe hain?"
"namaste ......... umm ... mera koee uchit naam nahin hai. jin doston ke saath main sadakon par sone ke lie traimpolin saajha karata hoon, ve mujhe golee kahate hain. ve kahate hain ki mere paas gol chehara hai, gol, tum dekho, to main golee hoon. lekin agar mujhe apana naam badalane kee anumati dee gaee to main ise piya rakhoonga. kya aap jaanate hain piya ka hindee mein kya matalab hota hai? isaka arth hai priy. jab amma mar rahee theen, lagabhag chaar saal pahale, yaanee jab main aath saal kee thee, unhonne mujhase kaha ki main bhagavaan ka sabase priy hoon aur vah meree piya hain aur unake jaane ke baad vah meree dekhabhaal karenge. lekin mainne usase kaha ki main apana khyaal rakh sakata hoon aur vaastav mein bhagavaan ko mere pyaar kee jaroorat hai, isalie main unakee piya hoon. lekin main nahin chaahata ki mere dost mujhe piya bulaen kyonki keval bhagavaan, jinhen mere pyaar kee jaroorat hai, hee mujhe bula sakate hain. mujhe pata hai ki aapake lie ise samajhana mushkil hai."
"to piya, kya tum mujhase pyaar karogee?" mujhe nahin pata tha ki mainne yah savaal kyon poochha. mere munh se bas nikal gaya.
"kya tum bhagavaan ho? mujhe laga ki tum musaaphir ke kapil ho. aap bhagavaan hain! baap re baap!" usane apanee kaalee aankhon ko baahar nikaalate hue kaha.
"nahin, nahin, main vah bhagavaan nahin hoon, lekin aap dekhate hain ki bhagavaan ham sabhee ke andar rahate hain, to ek tarah se, haan, main bhagavaan hoon. jis cheej ke baare mein main nishchit roop se aashvast hoon, vah yah hai ki mujhe vaastav mein pyaar kee jaroorat hai. to agar aapako koee samasya nahin hai, to aap meree piya ban sakate hain."
"aap bade hon; mujhe nahin lagata ki aapako meree dekhabhaal kee jaroorat hai aur saath hee har koee aapase pyaar karata hai."
"lekin mujhe aapake pyaar kee zaroorat hai."
mujhe nahin pata tha ki main kya kah raha thagh main yah sab kyon kah raha tha. itana laachaar aur itana jarooratamand, main us chhotee bachchee ke saamane tha.
“mujhe khaane ke lie paise ikattha karane ke lie rozaana kaam karana padata hai aur main kisee bhee jagah par sthaayee roop se nahin rahata. ham kaise milenge?"
"aap aa sakate hain aur mere saath rah sakate hain, agar aap chaahen to mera matalab hai ki main jor deta hoon."
“mujhe nahin pata ki ghar ka kaam kaise karana hai, lekin haan main joote polish kar sakata hoon aur bartan saaph kar sakata hoon. main dheere-dheere seekhoonga aur ek achchha sevak banoonga. lekin abhee ke lie aapako mujhe kuchh samay dena hoga.”
“tum mere saath ek dost kee tarah rah sakate ho, naukar kee tarah nahin. lekin ek hee vaada hai jo main tumase chaahata hoon - tum mujhe kabhee nahin chhodoge."
"jaahir hai nahin, tumane mujhe abhee apanee piya banaaya hai, isalie main ab tumase pyaar karata hoon aur hamesha tumase pyaar karata rahoonga, tumhen chhodakar savaal se baahar hai."
ek baarah saal kee ladakee aur ek unatees saal ke aadamee kee kahaanee shuroo huee - hamaaree kahaanee. tab se satrah saal ho chuke hain. ham bina kisee rishte ke bas ek saath rahate hain lekin ek rishta. aur yah pahalee aur aakhiree baar tha jab usane kaha tha ki main tumase pyaar karata hoon; tab se hamane kabhee pyaar ke baare mein baat nahin kee thee lekin hamesha ek-doosare se pyaar kiya hai.
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"kophee," usane kaha.
"hamm... haan, haan, dhanyavaad..." mainne phir se vah goongee muskaan dee. vah bhee mujhe pata hai ki tumhaare dimaag mein kya chal raha hai mein muskuraee.
jaise hee vah us khidakee ke paas khadee thee, aanshik roop se baarish aur aanshik roop se mujhe dekh rahee thee, mujhe bas vahee yaad aaya jo shilpa ne kaha tha, “tum mahilaon se pyaar karane ke lie nahin banee ho. main shart lagaata hoon ki agar aapako apane lie ek mil jae. ” vah sahee thee ki mujhe ek devee ne pyaar kiya tha aur vahaan vah mere saamane thee usake dil mein ek tarah ka pyaar jisake baare mein baat nahin kee ja sakatee thee, usake baare mein baat nahin kee ja sakatee thee, jisake baare mein likha nahin ja sakata tha, lekin keval mahasoos kiya ja sakata tha. yah prem tha, samudr aur aakaash kee tarah sachcha prem: anakaha prem.
